Even if you do enjoy a drink every now and then, don’t do it with them, ever. That’s why they love bars – everyone is drinking, so they feel like it’s okay to keep doing what they are doing. If you refuse to drink with them, they are left alone with their alcohol, and that drives the loneliness home a little more. There was probably a time you can fondly remember, before the alcohol took over. But now that person you love is an alcoholic, and those happy days are gone.
Early Recovery
You do not have to put up with unacceptable behavior in your life. However, certain things you can do may help relieve the pressure and, in some cases, also better help your loved one start their path to recovery. She’s also currently working on her dissertation, which explores intersections of disability studies and literacy studies. When she’s not researching or writing, Cherney enjoys getting outdoors as much as possible. It’s also important to ask your loved one directly what you can do to help, especially during special events where alcohol may be served.
Or they might do something over and over that keeps hurting them, like buying more alcohol, but they really don’t seem to see the logical reasons why they shouldn’t. Remember that an alcoholic is beyond reason – they have given up that ability. Living with an alcoholic doesn’t mean putting yourself in harm’s way. Living with someone who has an alcohol problem can feel like you’re constantly treading water. You may be unsure when the next wave will hit or how to keep your head above it.
Coping With An Alcoholic: Strategies For A Sober Life
It is important to plan the intervention carefully, ensuring it remains calm and focused on their well-being. You may even want to involve a professional interventionist or therapist to help guide the conversation and provide expert advice. For tips on how to stage an intervention, contact Recovery Lighthouse, and we will talk you through the process. If the alcoholic won’t get help, that doesn’t mean that you have to sit there and suffer with them. Support groups are full of people like you, who have to deal with addiction and alcoholism of someone they love. When you take that step and attend, you will definitely realize you are not alone, living with an alcoholic how to live with an alcoholic and that can make coping with the problems much easier.
- Living with an alcoholic can feel like a never-ending rollercoaster, one moment you’re hopeful, the next you’re overwhelmed.
- Loving someone with alcohol use disorder (AUD) often feels like walking a tightrope.
- Now, it’s not about learning to tiptoe around drunken moods or finding a new routine; it’s about safeguarding yourself in an environment that can turn unstable very quickly.
How to Help and Alcoholic Spouse: Treatment Options
Communicate these boundaries clearly and concisely to your partner and be prepared to enforce them. Specialist treatment centres can also provide support and information on the best steps forward for you and your loved one. Alateen is similar to Al-Anon but it’s for children of alcoholics. It gives kids an opportunity to spend time with their peers and discuss their alcoholic parent with people their own age who understand and can relate to the situation. Remember, the key is to take care of your own health while supporting your loved one.
Don’t Accept Unacceptable Behavior
However, it’s important to make sure you’re getting the support you need as well. Lean on the people around you, and, if you need to, reach out to a mental health professional to speak about your stress and what you’re going through. There are communities of people who understand exactly what you’re going through. Support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous offer a safe space where you can share your experiences, gain insights from others who have been in your shoes and feel less isolated.
You should not accept bad behavior
- But now that person you love is an alcoholic, and those happy days are gone.
- A support group to build connections with others who are going through similar experiences can be beneficial.
- If you love someone with an alcohol use disorder, there will be good days, hard days, and ‘not sure I can keep dealing with this’ days.
- It affects your mental health, relationships, and overall quality of life.
- Over time, the relationship may be shaped less by love and more by survival.
- There are communities of people who understand exactly what you’re going through.
If you love someone with an alcohol use disorder, there will be good days, hard days, and ‘not sure I can keep dealing with this’ days. While love alone can’t fix the problem, there are things you can do to support your loved one while protecting your own well-being. Do free yourself from blame, know when to step back, and understand that they need outside help. Don’t take things personally, accept the unacceptable, or enable their behavior.
Typically, when a person comes to us with an alcohol addiction, they will go through an addiction treatment programme. This includes a free addiction assessment, medically-assisted alcohol detox and a residential treatment programme made up of intensive therapy and 12 months of free aftercare. By setting clear limits, you can protect your personal space and help create an environment where addiction doesn’t control everything.
Some of the most common risks are the damage to your emotional and mental well-being. For example, if your loved one passes out in the yard and you carefully help them into the house and into bed, only you feel the pain. The focus then becomes what you did (moved them) rather than what they did (drinking so much that they passed out outside). Often, in trying to “help,” well-meaning loved ones will actually do something that enables someone dependent on alcohol to continue along their destructive paths. Make sure that you are not doing anything that bolsters their denial or prevents them from facing the natural consequences of their actions. Keep in mind that someone with alcohol dependence usually goes through a few stages before they are ready to make a change.
You can maintain your peace while supporting their recovery by setting clear boundaries and encouraging them to get treatment. Additionally, it is important to build good emotional habits and create a safe space for open communication. If you are living with an alcoholic parent, know that it is not your fault and that you should not blame yourself for their substance use.
If you’re questioning whether alcohol is the root cause of the problems in your relationship, take a moment to read this guide on recognizing a drinking problem. Imagine coming home, unsure whether you’ll be met with love, silence, or a drunken outburst. For those living with an alcoholic spouse or family emmber, this emotional uncertainty becomes the norm. Over time, the relationship may be shaped less by love and more by survival.
It’s important to understand that you are not the cause of your partner’s drinking, nor can you control or cure it. Focus on yourself and your own support system, and seek help from friends, family, therapy, or support groups. Encourage your partner to seek professional help, but do not enable their alcoholism by covering up for them or minimising the impact of their drinking. If you observe any of these behaviors, it’s crucial to take action sooner rather than later.